It was chaos! The Lord High Keeper of the Vote's office was a zoo of irate, near explosive Greylanders, all
yelling, shaking papers in the air, stamping feet and thumping fists on the LHKV's new delicate 'genuine
replica' Louis XIV desk! 
They had all come barging in without knocking, and the overflow had tumbled into the LHKV's assistant's
small annexure, which hung precariously on the outer wall of the building looking much like a child's Lego
block that had been stuck into the side of one of Jami's meatloaves. Assistant Stephanie's face appeared
occasionally above the angry crowd, as she bounced up on tip-toes every few seconds, determinedly
catching her boss's eye with a desperate look. 
Sonja, Greyland's Lord High Keeper of the Vote, had troubles enough of her own, and pointedly ignored
Stephanie's silent jack-in-the-box pleas. A piece of paper, a Memo, was thrust in her face, she looked
beyond it into the wide eyes of Jami.
"I can't do it! I just can't do it! Not at this short notice! The Meatloaf Palace renovations will NEVER be
complete in time, not to mention organizing the catering! It's just totally unreasonable!" She was yelling,
almost hysterically now. 
Mary pushed in front holding up a warm tray of Oatmeal and Raisin Cookies. "What do you think? This is
my own recipe of course! Oh, and I can always do a few batches of my famous Chocolate Chip cookies too.
Do you think I should do that too?......" And she chattered on, talking 'dozens' and cookie dough and
'batches'. 
Lauren yelled from the back of the crowd. "I've done the math, and NO WAY are we in any financial
position to do this......." and the rest of what she had to say was totally drowned out by the hubbub of the
crowd of women, which was just as well because the LHKV was never any good at math, and wouldn't have
understood anyway.
Chris and Sam both tried to elbow their way to the front, yelling over the noise. "Look, Sonja. This has
just been FLUNG on us......what the heck is going on anyway?"
There was a brief lull in the noise and the LHKV decided she had better take the opportunity to start
defending herself. "It wasn't ME, OK!! Marnie just arrived back here yesterday and told me she had booked
the next Official Star Trek Convention here in Greyland.....for next week! I KNOW it's short notice
guys......but MARNIE did it! Why are you all yelling at ME!........Where IS Marnie anyway?"
At that very moment Snow stuck her head in the door. "Hey you guys, I need a hand. Marnie is trying to
shove her head in the scanner again!"
"Oh for goodness sake!" Lamented Rachel. "Last time she did that the left side of her face glowed in the
dark for weeks, remember?"

To Sonja's relief, Snow's announcement turned everyone's attention away from her and Stephanie, and
immediately the woman started trooping out, heading down the hall to Snow's office, where the scanner was
kept. 
"Well, your new 'pansy' desk made it OK." Said Stephanie as the two of them surveyed the mess that was
five minutes previously, a neat, well organized and functional 'Office of the LHKV'. They doubted they
could spearhead a 'Win' for the Hi-Greylander as things stood now!
Sonja sighed, deciding to ignore Stephanie's jibe about her new desk. "Well, guess we'd better go see
what's up with Marnie. I've always enjoyed a good 'head scanning' " And they joined the stream of
Greylander's trying to push through the doorway into the Minister of Technology's office.

Marnie was indeed trying to scan her head. "Hey lassies!" She chirped happily as she saw everyone spilling
in the door. "Anyone got a good pair of sunglasses I can use? This scanner light is BLINDING!" 
"OK Marn," said Jami, "why, oh why would you want to scan your head!"
Marnie stood up straight, screwed her eyes up in concentration, and looked up at the ceiling as if an
answer could be read there. Eventually she said, "well.........in the interests of 'art'....why NOT?!"
"More like in the interests of a 'brain tumour!" Muttered Lauren.
"I HEARD that!" Said Marnie indignantly, and Lauren replied "Well really Marnie, we have bigger
problems right now. What on earth do you mean just going ahead and booking a Star Trek Convention, in
Greyland, just like that! Without consulting us, or even running it by the Hi-Greylander, for goodness
sake!"

It was the wrong thing to say to Marnie. Her waist length hair started to bristle, she stretched her 3' 5" body
up till it reached.......well, 3' 5.0000001", her face went red, her eyes flamed, and her Scottish accent went into
overdrive. 
"Excu-u-u-u-use ME!" (This was enough to cause the gathering to jump one step back. As Stephanie and
Sonja had been the last to arrive, they now found themselves pressed up against a wall. The framed
corner of a life-size photograph of the Hi-Greylander shaking hands with Bill Gates (well this IS the office of
the Minister of Technology) stuck uncomfortably into Sonja's shoulder blade). Marnie continued, her voice
taking on an ominous tone:
"You have OBJECTIONS (the word reverberated throughout the office) to a Star Trek Convention??!!!"
(Now the crowd shuffled back further, eager to escape the wrath of 'Super Marnie'. Mary rued the day she
had commissioned the Super Marnie suit and provided the hamburger patties with the secret 'source'!) 
"Does anyone ELSE have any objections to a Star Trek Convention?" 
Silence.
"WELL????!!!!"
"Um...no". "Nope, not me..." "No way....." came the quick muttered answers, and Marnie smiled, and
relaxed. "Good." she said, bending over to stick her head in the scanner again. Everyone left quickly and
quietly.
 
 

Krichelle and Lisa squared up, facing each other, neither ready to back down. Lisa was struggling to stand
under an armful of clothing on wire hangers (her 'Autumn' line), and Krichelle stood with clipboard in
hand, surrounded by boxes of papers, and Olympic posters on large boards leaning up against the walls of
the hallway outside the Banqueting Hall of Mooseheart Manor .
"I booked months ago, Lisa! I got special permission to hold the Olympic registration here! You and
Shanella can just take your feathers and beads elsewhere!"
"Well WE booked too........with Rachel!" 
"So did I !" Replied Krichelle. She tried to calm down. "Look, Rachel is pretty busy what with being
Minister of Entertainment and constantly hopping between here and Hollywood....."
"Yeah, and taking the TRAIN because she is so afraid of flying...." interrupted Lisa, "...no wonder it
always takes her so LONG!"
Krichelle finished her thought, ".... is it any wonder she double-booked?! Now, the two of us standing
here squabbling isn't going to help any! Maybe......I dunno......whaddya say we SHARE the banqueting hall,
huh? It's big enough!"
Lisa thought about it for a while. The armload of clothes were getting mighty heavy. But before she could
answer, Marnie, Lauren, and Chris came flying past them like a tornado, burst through the doors to the
Banqueting Hall, and Marnie started shouting orders:
"Hmm, we'll have Robert Beltran sitting here signing autographs!" She engulfed a corner of the Hall with a
wide sweep of her arms, then marched off to the other end. "And we should get a refreshment bar up this
end......Mary? Where's Mary! I need her to get 'creative' with cocktails and sandwiches!" and she flung her
arms around in a grandiose gesture "Drinks like a 'Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster'! Sandwiches like a 'Data
Dagwood'........."

Before she could get any further Krichelle and Lisa, who had been standing wide-mouthed and aghast at
this latest development, stepped in from the hallway. Lisa put her hand up, clicking her fingers to get
Marnie's attention.
"Wait a MINUTE!" She said in a clipped voice. "Just WHAT do you think you're doing?"
Krichelle picked up a box of application forms, her clipboard, and even managed one of the large poster
boards, and marched pointedly in towards the south end of the Hall, with every intention of setting up her
Olympic registration station.
Not to be outdone, Lisa dragged her armload of clothing to the north, just as her assistant, Shanella
arrived with two loaded clothing trolleys on wheels. She pushed them over to Lisa.
"Hey!' Yelled Marnie, "We're setting up for the Star Trek Convention in here!"
"Oh no you're NOT! I've booked it for my 'Fall' collection!"
"And I'VE got it for Greyland's Olympic Awareness Week!"
"Says WHO?" Said Marnie, pointedly pushing her sleeves up above her elbow, and setting her small
compact body in a fighting stance.
"Oh, it's a rumble you want, is it?" Yelled Krichelle, taking up the challenge, pulling off her sweater to
reveal a 'Sydney 2000' T-shirt, bunching her fists up in front of her face and starting a boxer's 'two-step' as
she edged closer to Marnie. 
"Woah, woah!" Said Chris, waving her arms in front of her and trying to step between the two. "C'mon
girls, no need to fight over th......"
SMACK
A clipboard hit Chris across the face. She dropped like a stone. "Look what you did!" Marnie accused
Krichelle.
"It was YOU threw the punch!!!" Krichelle countered, and grabbed Marnie by the hair. Marnie retaliated
by trying to kick Krichelle in the shin, just as Lisa and Shanella, hoping to break up the fight, each grabbed
an opponent and dragged them backwards away from each other. Shanella tripped, and with her arms
wrapped around Krichelle from behind landed with the Royal Fitness Trainer and Minister of Sports on top
of her. Marnie saw her chance and made a dive.
"Marnie!!!! *Ooooooof* " Lisa yelled taking an elbow in her diaphragm. She lay prostrate on the floor
trying to catch her breath. 

The struggle on the floor continued while Lauren watched, shook her head in exasperation, and decided
rather than get involved herself, she would try to find Erica to sort it all out. She had just hit the intercom
button to summon the Hi-Greylander's Body Guard and Minister of Defence, Erica, when that Gladiator of
women herself appeared at the door, followed by a wide-eyed crowd of women Lauren didn't recognize.
"And here we have the Grand Banqueting Hall. We have parties here, official occasions, it even becomes
a 'headquarters' of sorts in times of international crises." 
Erica droned on seemingly oblivious to the mess of arms and legs struggling and grunting and yelling
accusations in the middle of the floor. The group of 'Newbies'  who Erica had been showing around, stared.
A few looked at each other and wondered if they had, after all, made the right decision coming here! A
Newby called Moon plucked up the courage to speak.
"Um....excuse me, but...." She began, as she tapped Erica on the shoulder. But Lauren saved her the trouble
of continuing.
"Erica! Thank goodness you're here. I was just about the sound the alarm. We have another 'situation'
here, as you can see!"

Erica calmly surveyed all before her. She stood to attention, filled her lungs with just about every last
breathable atom of air in the great room, opened her mouth, and yelled!
"ATTE-E-E-E-N-HUT"!!!!!
It worked. Like a pre-programmed instinctive reaction the group of women on the floor suddenly jumped
with fright, untangled their bodies and scrambled up to attention before they could even think about it.
Erica laughed out loud "It still works, every time!!" And she chuckled on while Marnie, Krichelle, Lisa,
and Shanella, seizing up the situation, relaxed and bent double as they tried to catch their breaths.
"No fair, Erica!" Panted Chris. "The war is OVER! We're not in the army any more!"
"Yep!" Giggled Erica, "but I sure trained you all well!!" And she doubled over laughing at her own great
joke. 
Lauren was impatient to get all this sorted out. "You seen Rachel anywhere, Erica? She's gone and
overbooked the Banqueting Hall again."
"Did I hear my name?" It was Rachel walking in, rather 'staggering' in under a league of luggage. She'd
just arrived back from one of her many trips to Hollywood to get the latest news for the Star-struck and
news hungry Greylanders. 
"Oh, Rachel!" Smiled Erica. 'I'd like you to meet a few Newbies......this is Lin, here's Moon, Ruth is over
there, Denise here, um.....you're Tamera, right? And Barb just ........." 
"Yeah, nice to meet you." Rachel wasn't looking at the Newbies. "What's this about the Hall being
overbooked?"
The women explained. Loudly. And somehow through all the shouting Rachel realized she hadn't read a
memo in weeks. All requests for use of the Banqueting Hall were probably still sitting on her desk. She
shook her head and raised her eyes heavenward. Why me, Lord. And told everyone they would sort it out
on a 'first come, first serve' basis. As Lisa's and Krichelle's requests had been submitted the same day, well
before Marnie's, and the hall WAS big enough for both Krichelle to have her Olympic registration and Lisa
to display her Fall collection, THEY would have the Hall.
"But you can't DO that!" Marvelled Marnie. "I've got a Star Trek Convention happening here in four
days!! I've got 'Chakotay' coming, 'Riker' will be here.....even Patrick Stewart confirmed!!! I've GOT to have
the Hall!!!!" She put her hand to her forehead in a melodramatic gesture. "Ooooer....I feel another 'scanner'
episode coming on!" And she stumbled towards the door.
Exhausted, Rachel sat on one of her large suitcases and rubbed her forehead. 
"Wait a minute!" Called Shanella excitedly. "I think I know JUST the place for a Star Trek Convention!"
Her eyes were sparkling as she fell silent, looking at each of them to make sure she had their full attention,
and to stretch out the moment.....it wasn't often Shanella got everyone's attention.
The ploy worked. All eyes were on her as each person seemed to lean in towards her. They waited
expectantly. She stretched it out, just a little longer.......
Rachel snapped "Will you spit it out, Shanella!!" She growled like an angry bear.
Shanella gave her a scathing look, but decided she had better say her piece. "Lurker Castle!" She
exclaimed "Lurker Castle would be the PERFECT place to hold the Star Trek Convention!"

The news of the Star Trek convention and it's location soon reached the length and breadth of Greyland causing great excitement.... 

There is a Star Trek convention coming to Lurker Castle??? I am transforming myself  into  the Purple Power Ranger and flying out of there to Tarantula Province with Tarantula himself--you know that little arachnid is
terrified of crowds. Once I reach  the arid wastes of Tarantula province I am going straight to my adobe abode and fix some frybread.

Love,
the Lady of the Beasts

"Castle Lurker?"  A voice echoed, and heads turned towards the mysterious woman standing in the
doorway.  She had an expression of complete horror blanketing her face. "You just can't have the
convention at the castle," the stranger insisted as she kept shaking her head.  "It just won't do."
"And exactly who are you?" several persons asked in unison.
"I call myself Daija, pronounced Déjà, as in Déjà vu, and I've lived at Castle Lurker for sometime now. 
We haven't met yet because I...well...I tend to keep quiet and to myself mostly.  I do, however, feel like
I know most of you; and there have been many a times I've wanted to contribute to the conversations, but
alas..." and with a tired sigh, she continued.  "I've been too nervous about commenting."
"Why now, then?  And why regarding this matter?" 
Marnie asked as she walked towards her, placing her hand gently on Daija's shoulder in a reassuring
manner.  Marnie sensed her nervousness and wanted to make her feel comfortable.
"Well, if everyone comes to Castle Lurker, my serenity will be shattered.  You know, it's very
peaceful and quiet at the Castle.  But, now, if all these people show up and gather there..." Daija
stopped mid-sentence, averted her eyes downward to stare at her feet, and nervously pick at her
fingernails.
"It's alright Daija, the convention will be great fun!  You'll see," enthused Marnie
"And if Star Trek isn't your thing, then come visit us at the Olympic Awareness Conference,"
Krichelle suggested as she made her way past the group of newbies to get a closer look at the stranger.
"Yea," Lisa agreed. "If the Olympic Conference isn't your bag, join us for the Fall Collection."
Daija, feeling the full brunt of her shyness, realizing that everyone was staring at her in open
curiosity, began to blush.  "It's just that I'm not very good in large groups of people who I don't know
well.  I worry about saying something stupid.  I have a tendency to open mouth and insert foot."
Erica had to chuckle at that. "I think everyone here has suffered from "footitis" disease at least
once in their lives." And, as if in accordance, giggles and snickers abounded.  Everyone was
individually remembering an embarrassing moment caused by said disease.  "And don't worry about not knowing
anyone, we've had a recent influx of immigrants to Greyland," Erica indicated with a sweep of her arm. 
"We're all in the middle of getting to know oneanother." The newbies smiled in agreement.
"Well, I must admit that everyone here seems so wonderful.  You all have such a great sense of humor
and I would love to join in on the fun.  Maybe a Star Trek convention is just what I need to loosen up."
"Now, that's the right attitude.  The Hi-Greylander himself would be proud to hear you say
that," Marnie beamed.  Daija smiled, already feeling much more at ease among the Greylanders.
"Well, then, as you were ladies.  I'll not stand in your way if it's a convention you desire."  Daija
paused, then queried, "But how do you think Nessie, Angela, Theresa and the other lurkers in resident at
Castle Lurker will feel?
 

Daija (first-time poster, long-time lurker) :)

A loud shriek could be heard all over Castle Lurker as Nessie read her latest email message.  "Whit do they mean - a Star Trek Con?  In my castle! They canna' have one that weekend.  It's my Highlander Weekend!  The
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (and Duncan) are coming, they'll eat Chakotay alive fer breakfast."

Nessie, Princess of the loch and sometime monster managed not to turn green and scaly with outrage, though it was a close run thing.  Being a monster came in handy when dealing with sword wielding barbarians, especially
tall, handsome, woad-painted, big nosed ones.

"Oh dear, oh dear.  If Duncan and Chakotay get together they'll have a broodfest!  Kronos won't be able to leave Captain Picard alone, they'll drive each other mad.  Aargh!  Marnie I'm going to get you for this,
and your little dog too...."  she was heard to mutter as she typed madly on her computer.  Maybe if she put a sign on the door saying 'CASTLE CLOSED FOR THE DURATION OF THE APOCALYPSE' they might all go away!

Nessie (meant to be read with a Scottish accent)
 
 

The junior power ranger is at the ready.....he just can't decide which color he is...lol!  The meatloaf palace is ready for special orders.  The oldest boy (junior chef) is grumbling about work that needs to be done...lol.
Jami
and
I'm going to enjoy the  ST con, although moving it to Lurker Castle seems to have caused some controversy.   Before the move, I was kind of looking forward to seeing what havoc the Klingons could wreak on the Fall Collection.  "And now, here's Worf in a charming little chiffon frock in shades of saffron and apricot." 
I must admit, though, that Lurker sounds like the perfect venue for a media con.  You do realize the role players could go berserk in that gothic atmosphere, don't you?

Lady of the Beasts, are you sure you want to miss this????

Lin

The Olympics did have to take precedence for some....

I'm not up on the Trekkie thing but I'm enjoying the bulletins as I'm at the Greyland Airport loading our
beautiful equine Olympians bound for the Summer Games. For Gold, Glory and Greyland!!!!!!!!  oh,
you'll be so proud of our eventers, dressage and Grand Prix champions......and I got a great deal on
our tickets - one of the Goochettes from the trailer park has a cousin who's just started up her own
airline - and of course I want to support a one-woman airline.  I liked her name, too,  it has a certain
ring to it....wonder if she might be NA.....Amelia Bearheart......Sydney Here We Come!!!!!!!!!!! 
Nancy, Keeper of the Royal Stud 

though it didn't stop them joining in....

Well g-day all, I'm up here cruising along over the sunlit Pacific in this humongus C-130 transport,
looking over the "care package" of goodies some of you sent to the airport - let's see.....mmmmm
some delicious Jami's Meatloaf Palace delectibles...oh, and some Key Lime Pie from Sloppy Joe's
in Key West ordered up for us by Angela and dear litttle Tarantula!!!!!  oh thank you!!!!  and, oh my
here are some tins of Walker's To Die For Shortbread from Marnie and Nessie - oh yummmy!!!!  and
bless you, Tina some vegetables and fruits (phew...won't get scurvy this week - plus carrots and
apples for the horses and the minpins).  Hope all is going well at the convention - let's see....oh,
here's some wonderful hay sent by Lauren - good ole tall fescue from her backyard - I mean the back
40....mmmm chocolate chip cookies from Mary.....oh, you all are so kind...think I'll just settle back
now and watch some Aussie themed movies - let's see... Crocodile Dundee, oh definitely Phar Lap
(the horses will love that),  hmmm...Picnic at Hanging Rock...I don't know...that's kinda
scary.....naw....oh here's all those naked guys in The Lighthorseman - yes - yes  and why didn't
MG get a role in this one!!!!!!  Whoa - Amelia just announced we are now flying over The Devil's
Triangle!!!! that's like the Pacific version of the  (gulp) Bermuda Triangle.......well....guess I'll turn on
the vcr...seeya later  (I hope)  luv,
Nancy 

Some needed a little encouragement and what better than an informative ...um ...lesson..

Star Trek 101

"Class...ATTEN-SHUN!!" Marnie yelled drawing all eyes to her diminutive form as she paced back and forward in front of the blackboard. "OK you guys,....we don't know who'll be coming to this con ...but I'll be darned if
we let the Schweigeronians whip us again ...even if it is only at The Trek Trivia Contest!!"
"Oh, Lord," groaned Sonja,"here we go again...more work!!"
"First ...it's Trekker, not Trekkie. Sarek is Spock's father ...not a Klingon...and the Vulcan Death Grip doesn't actually exist!"
"But ..." Erica started to interject having used that particular move just the other day in her capacity as the Hi-Greylander's bodyguard, but was quelled by the fire in Marnie's eye.
"OK, Pop quiz ....name Spock's love interests?"
"Ooh, I know this" squealed Angela shooting her hand up ...along with Nessie.
"Ok, Angela...."
"There was only one ...T'pring in "Amok Time"  ...and it was a pretty lame episode!!'
"WRONG!" Marnie yelled and  brought the noodle whip she was holding lashing down to her jodhpur clad thigh with a crack! Angela wilted in her seat.
"Man ...what a shrew." whispered Daija to Mariel ...this was the first time she'd seen the diminutive Scot's true character. Nessie, all this time had been waving her hand in the air  and leaping around in her seat in
desperation to answer.
"All right ...go ahead Nessie".
"Well, there was Zarabeth, played by Mariette Hartley, in "All Our Yesterdays"...and ...and he actually DID  it with her," Nessie blushed and giggled behind her hand, "...until he was brought to his senses and rescued by
Kirk. ...T'pring in "Amok Time" (like Angela said) ...until he was brought to his senses and rescued by Kirk. There was Leila played by Jill Ireland in"This Side of Paradise"...and he did it with her too..teehee
......until he was brought to his senses and rescued by Kirk. Hmmm...Kirk seems to be the only one allowed to get the girl! Oh, there was also Droxine in the"Cloud Minders" ....but she had feet of clay ...revealed by Kirk of course.
Perhaps, also "Plato's StepChildren" when he was forced to kiss Nurse Chapel?"
"Well done, Nessie" drawled Marnie with satisfaction,"You'll be Captain of the team. The rest of you.....you will watch all 79 original series episodes before the convention opens ..."
"Sheesh", muttered Mary, "do you remember when being on this list was
FUN?"

Marnie
 
 

"....our  Hero as that scalawag, Rhett Butler?? Aaaahhhh--I  have always preferred Ashley as my favorite man--that "Cavalier of the Confederacy"--I know, I know, I am the only woman in America who feels that way...but I always preferred Leslie to  Clark!!" Angela whispered to Sonja.

"Probably the only woman down THIS way who prefers Leslie too! C'monAngela...the guy was a wimp!!!! You can 'take' that from me, can't ya?" Sonja ducked whhile awaiting a solid slamming from Angela!

"SONJA KROHN!!!" *Whack*!
Marnie's noodle whip snapped against Sonja's desk. She jumped and hit her noggin on the wooden underside, then rubbing the red nob that quickly protruded from her hairline, she gingerly emerged from her hiding
place.
"What were you doing ducking under that desk?" A gleam sparkled in Marnie's eye, and Sonja glared at Angela who was the reason she was under the desk in the first place.
"........WHICH episode of the original Star Trek series had Kirk and Spock going back in time to 1940's earth?"
Sonja looked at Angela, pleading. If Angela knew she sure wasn't going to tell, and she shrugged her shoulders non-committally.
"Ummmm.........." muttered Sonja.
"AS I SUSPECTED!" Resonated the 'spacially efficient' Marnie, "You DON'T KNOW!"
Sonja gulped and murmured "Nope, don't" and cringed back under her desk.
 

Then one of our lurkers, finally unable to resist the lure of a yarn, chimed in....
 

It was a quiet evening except for the breathtakingly beautiful sounds of the tin whistle filtering through
the open window.  Someone was listening to "The Immigrant" by Joanie Madden.  The curtains were
fluttering gently in the breeze, carrying the soothing music into the room.  Sonja sat at her desk muttering,
complaining about today's Star Trek lesson with Marnie.
"If I see or hear that noodle whip one more time…" she muttered.  "I'm going to...to...break the darn thing!" 
"What's up, Sonja?" Angela asked as she entered the room.  "You appear to be extremely frustrated." 
Angela tried to hide a smug smile behind her hand.
"Marnie, the shrew.  I'm trying to study for tomorrow's test but I haven't a clue.  I don't suppose
you'd like to pull up a chair and help by quizzing me."  Sonja stared at Angela with her best
please-help-me-oh-please-please-sad-Bambi-eyes look.
"Well, alright." Angela grabbed a nearby chair and dragged it over to where Sonja was sitting. 
"Okay, first question.  Who did Capt. Kirk--"
"Excuse me.  I don't mean to interrupt, but, I'm hopelessly lost."  Sonja and Angela turned to find a
newbie named Tamera standing, looking very confused.
"I've somehow been separated from Erica and the group of newbies.  I'm also a bit baffled about this
Star Trek thingy going on.  I know we need to know the details surrounding all the episodes, but I've never
watched it."  Tamera looked down at the paper in Angela's hand and concluded that they were studying
for the "big test". 
"Would you mind if I studied with you?  The last thing I want is to be at the end of that noodle whip
of Marnie's.  What a shrew."  Tamera shuddered from the thought.  Sonja, on the other hand, began mumbling
nasty retorts under her breath.
"Oh, I suppose.  Here."  Angela handed her the cheat sheet Sonja had been working from.  "Read this
and I'll quiz you when I'm done with Sonja."  All the while Angela was thinking about the upcoming Highland
festival.
Tamera sat down and silently set out reading as Angela began quizzing Sonja once again. "First
question, Who did Capt. Kirk--"
"Hey, has anybody seen Mariel?" 
Angela threw her hands up in frustration.  "No, not since Marnie's lesson earlier today."
"Thanks.  I'll keep looking."  Daija hurried down the hall, frantic in her search.  With a deep calming breath, Angela commenced, "Let's try this again.  First question.  Who did Capt. Kirk--"
This time Angela was interrupted by an ear-piercing scream and then silence.  Silence, except for the
soulful sounds of the tin whistle now playing "Down by the Sally Gardens." 

Daija (oooh, I do love a good intrigue!)
 
 

"EEEEEHHHHKK!!", Marnie came storming into the room, her hair a mass of gooey tangles. Havoc was leaping around in drooling ecstasy, licking at the strands of hair floating just within his reach !! The minpins were gamely launching themselves upward to join Havoc ....but sadly  Marnie was too TALL for them (ha!)!!
"OK....you lot ...who put Maple Syrup in my shampoo bottle!!!???" Sonja stifled a snigger behind her hand and kept her eyes on her "Star Trek Encyclopaedia (a reference guide to the future)". Angela merely made
her eyes round and said with a suspiciously innocent expression,
" Omigosh ...it must've been a mistake in the kitchens ...we'd better check before the breakfast things get laid out." Her lips twitched as she gamely tried to suppress a grin.
"Yeah, sure, I believe you," Marnie drawled unbelievingly," SIT DOWN!!", she then yelled, everyone dropped to their seats ...except Havoc at whom the order had been directed.
"Well as you're all here ...and obviously studying hard," this as she twitched "The Star Trek Compendium" from Lauren's suddenly nerveless fingers turned it the correct way up and handed it back to her.
"You can maybe answer my last question......" she waited knowingly as she flipped her hair behind her shoulders with a syrupy squelch ...throwing Havoc and the minpins into another paroxysm of movement. Even Bandit,
stretched out at the fireplace was beginning to eye the liquid strands...in fact, almost stood up ...yawned, stretched ...decided moving wasn't worth the effort and went back to sleep.
".....Well, WHICH episode of the original Star Trek series had Kirk and Spock going back in time to 1940's earth?"
Sam, plucking up her courage, volunteered,
"But, Marnie ....I....I ...CAN'T find ANY information on an episode set on Earth in the 40's!!"
"CORRECT!!! It was a trick question!!"
Sam smiled with relief as Marnie carried on, "...as you all should know by now the only episodes where they went back in time to EARTH were..."Assignment Earth" when they returned to 1968   ..., "Tomorrow is
Yesterday" ...where they returned to 1969...just prior to the first manned moon launching .......and "City on the Edge of Forever"....when they returned through the Guardian of Forever to the 30's, pre World War II
and caused serious damage to the flow of history!!!  Joan Collins did in fact play Edith Keeler ...well done Angela, half marks for that. The original script was written by Harlan Ellison which won "The Writer's Guild of
America Award"....and the episode won a Hugo for best Dramatic Presentation.!!
Now, the rest of you ...back to the books", and with this she slithered off to wash her hair again, Havoc, the minpins and a cat or two in her wake.
Sonja glowered up darkly from her chair, "I vote the next time the Greyland Players are putting on a show we make it "The Taming of the Shrew!!!"
 

Marnie

The Minister of Tourism and Foreign Affairs, Chris, watched with growing trepidation at the fax spewing
out of the machine. This latest development was certainly not going to cheer Marnie up any. As it is she
was totally disgusted at the Greylander's lack of Star Trek Trivia knowledge, and now THIS! Chris didn't
want to be the one to tell her, but, as everyone else was at that very moment in class under Marnie's warmed
up noodle whip, there was simply no one else who could do it.
Reluctantly she dragged herself along to the Manor Drawing room which Marnie had converted into the
ST 101 classroom. She had the fax in her hand, and intended to hand it over to Marnie as quickly as
possible....and then run! 
All too soon she found herself in front of the door. She knocked softly, almost hoping Marnie would not
hear. It was then that it dawned on her that she could avoid the situation entirely if she just slid the fax
under the door and then did a quick disappearing act. 
She had just got down on her knees and was flattening the slightly crumpled fax so it would slip easily
along the floor, when suddenly the door yanked open, and Chris was confronted by the toe of Marnie's
Super-Marnie boot right there before her. She looked up and froze in fright. From this angle Marnie
suddenly looked amazingly tall, and well, her Super-Marnie outfit had always been decidedly imposing.
"WELL?" Marnie bellowed, slapping her noodle whip against the palm of her hand. Chris was speechless
with fright, and continued to stare, so Marnie continued: "Will you stop grovelling! Get up this minute! And
what is THIS?" she demanded, as she caught sight of the fax Chris held in her shaking hands.
By now Chris' vocal chords were in permanent seizure and she wondered if she would ever be able to
speak again. At her silence Marnie gave an exasperated sigh and snatched the white sheet of paper into her
own free hand. Chris covered her head in her hands and waited for the earthquake she knew would come.

Marnie took a deep breath, and the sound that followed had all the power of Mount St Helena's eruption. 
"WH-A-A-A-A-T!!" She screamed. "Impossible! I worked too hard for this! No, no!!!!" She scrunged up
the paper and threw against the blackboard, and slumped down in her seat. Her fellow Greylanders watched
her in fear and amazement. No one was prepared to ask what had upset her, till much to their relief, before
their very eyes, 'Marnie the Shrew' melted away and their old dear 'friend' Marnie dropped her head into her
arms and started to sob. 
"Gee, Marn." Lauren said. "It can't be THAT bad can it? Whatever's the matter?"
Marnie tried to reply, but all that came out were gasps and sobs.
Angela had retrieved the fax and was reading it. "Oh no!" She said. "It says here that Robert Beltran,
William Shatner, Patrick Stewart, and all the OTHER Star Trek personalities who said they were coming to
our Convention.....have all CANCELLED!!!"
Marnie raised her head long enough to let out a heartbreaking cry of anguish. "Aaaaa-ghhh!"
"Oh my!..... Poor Marnie!" Whispered Mary. "She had her heart so set on this! Whatever can we do?"
Suddenly Marnie raised her head again. This time there was a determined glint in her eye. "NO!" She
jumped up from her seat and everyone else jumped back. "I won't accept defeat! I shall go and fetch them all
MYSELF!" And she stormed out the door.
"Uh-oh!" Said Nessie. "I know that look! This is 'trouble' girls!"
"Don't we know it!" Agreed Gin, Ambassador to Schweigeronia, who had come home for a visit and been
caught up in the whole Star Trek excitement. "We can't let her go off like this half cocked. We'd better follow
her and keep an eye on  her."
"Agreed!" Announced Julia. And everyone headed out the door following Marnie.

It was soon obvious to all that Marnie was heading straight for the airport, and the Wee Tartan Space Ship,
fresh from its latest refurbishment. 
"Oooh goodie!" Said Daija, a newby. "Do we get to go on an adventure in the Goochmobile?"
"She's really going to do it!" Said Mary amazed. "Do we try to stop her? Or what?"
"Well she does own the WTS." Said Mariel. "We can't exactly stop her!"
"Then we have to go along with her," said Sonja.
"Oh no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o." Said Rachel weakly.
"Everyone here?" Asked Snow.
"Well, Nancy's on her way to the Olympics with her horses right now." Said Lisa
"Everyone else present and correct, including all newbies." Said Erica, in her military manner.
They all took a deep breath, and boarded the WTS behind Marnie, just in time. She had activated the
engines, the doors slid shut, and before everyone could strap themselves in, Marnie had the Goochmobile
hitting warp 3, and zooming away from Greyland.
 

Well I guess we all know what's comin'!!!
Sonja

The Greylanders were holding on for dear life as the Goochmobile zoomed them off into the distance. The
'G' force was tremendous and they held on for dear life to seats, overhead storage compartments, door
handles, the refreshment bar (Sonja), the Jacuzzi (Julia), and in the case of Rachel....the 'commode'. Shannela
tried to make some joke about M-'G' "force", but no one was laughing, mostly because their faces felt like
they were glued to the backs of their heads.
Fortunately they were soon out of the planet Green Bead's gravitational pull, (Shannela tried another
joke about MG's gravitational pull, but there was still no laughter) and were zooming off into the 'real' world.
The girls at last were able to relax, as they always do on the WTS, and settled in to their usual 'travel
routine'. The freshly oiled, beautifully muscled, kilted, bare-chested crew soon got refreshments orders;
Mariel, Gin, Erica and Julia hopped into the Jacuzzi, and the trip settled into just another voyage on the
Goochmobile. 

......................Which means.................?

Marnie grit her teeth and shoved the throttle with all her worth.
"You can't get much more out of her!" Yelled Nessie, doing a very good imitation of 'Scotty'.     But
Marnie muttered between clenched teeth. "Warp 9....c'mon baby....I know you can do it!"
Nessie sighed and shook her head. She'd done everything to try to calm Marnie down and convince her
that racing off to find the Star Trek celebs was NOT a good idea. All she could do now was go and warn
crew and passengers that Marnie was on a suicide mission, and they had better all brace themselves for the
worst - again!
She had just made her way to the cockpit hatch when the WTS surged, jumped, then seemed to die in
mid-air.
"What the.....!" Exclaimed Marnie and she jammed the throttle back and forth trying to restart the engines.

In the rest of the ship pandemonium broke out. Sonja spat out the oyster she was about swallow and almost
choked on the cracker she had shoved in her mouth before the oyster. The Jacuzzi water sloshed over
it's edges and wet Lisa's new leather boots. She hardly noticed as she pushed her way towards the front of
the ship. Rachel hauled her head out of the 'john' and raced for a chair with a seat-belt yelling "I knew it....I
just knew it!" The newbie's drained, bloodless faces stared at the chaos, frozen in fear, till Angela came to
their rescue.
"Now, don't worry ladies, this is nothing unusual. Lets get on into the cockpit to see what's going
on...shall we?"
The newbies were so relieved to have someone take control that they followed Angela like Nancy's
minpins at her heals.

Just about everyone had converged on the cockpit where Marnie, with Nessie's help now, was still fighting
for control of the ship.
"What NOW, Marnie?!" Exclaimed Erica, hardly concealing her irritation.
Marnie was too busy to answer.
"Typical!" Yelled Jami. "She's gonna 'crash' us again! MAN, I'm sick of crashing!"
Everyone started shouting at once, laying blame, accusing each other, when suddenly the large screen in
front of Marnie lit up. As the form of the Hi-Greylander appeared above them the group gradually silenced
amid protestations of "SShhhhhhh!", and awed exclamations "It's the Hi-Greylander!"

The Hi-Greylander's visage looked somewhat amused as he looked down at his confused subjects in the
WTS cockpit. As soon as silence prevailed, he spoke, with a barely concealed smile in his voice.
"THIS time ladies, it's NOT Marnie's fault."
The women looked back and forth at each other wondering what their great Leader was about to reveal to
them.
"I sabotaged the ship this time."
The jaws of everyone on the ship dropped onto their chests. They simply did not know what to say.
"This is a test, ladies." The Hi-Greylander continued, serious now. "You're always getting yourselves into
ridiculous situations from which you expect ME to rescue you. THIS time you are on your own. The WTS
will crash on an island in the South China Sea. You will face many perils in your efforts to survive. So.....lets
see how you all deal with THIS situation."
The screen went blank and the women were dumbstruck. They would have stood like that, staring at the
blank screen for hours, had not the ship lurched again, dipped and started heading, slowly at first but
picking up speed, directly down towards terra firma.
All that could be heard in the quiet sea air was an agonised Scottish yell "No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!" as the
Wee Tartan Space Ship spiralled earthwards.

Sonja
 
 

There was a deep groaning sound, at first everyone thought it was Rachel's poor abused stomach protesting.... but their expressions soon changed to ones of horror when they realized  it came from the bridge
superstructure as the hull of the WTS was subjected to forces it was never meant to withstand. Rivets popped, plates buckled and even the superior work of the Clyde (space) Ship yards proved inadequate.
Daylight started to pour into the darkened bridge where only blinking red lights had previously made the bemused faces visible. There was afinal squeal of protest ...and the entire saucer section split away
and the WTS spiralled to the waiting seas below ....in two pieces.....

With a gasp and a final cough as salt water was expelled from her lungs Marnie was hauled ashore by the more athletic ...and marginally taller Ruth. Blearily she looked around and beheld some of her crewmates,
likewise in various states of disarray and decidedly bedraggled to boot.
Lauren seemed to be having that old waistband problem as the elastic came once more adrift and her pink hot pants started on their usual journey down before being yanked furiously back into place.
“Where are we?” whimpered Daija ...she wasn't used to the WTS’ predilection for crashing and didn't realize this was pretty much how every trip ended up!
“Yes, where are we, PILOT?” demanded Sandy, arms akimbo, as she and a few of the others moved up and towered over the visibly quailing Marnie!

“It's not my fault ...it's not....” she quavered and then reiterated “...really, it's not my fault!!”
“We've heard that one before, but it seems the Hi-G has given you an alibi... THIS time!!” muttered Tina, wringing seawater from her golden ringlets. Sadly the hair extensions had not taken their ducking well
and Tina looked a little like a drowned cocker spaniel. Marnie knew she would pay for this and sent her a pleading look, then in answer to Sandy’s question,
“We were over the South China Sea.... just short of Borneo ...some island or other called Pulau Tiga”.
The girls looked around at the narrow beach ...the small reef, the verdant tropical forest just paces away.  Lin idly picked up some of the driftwood that the beach was littered with ...and Lisa joined in,
 “Yes, we should definitely start a fire ....anyone know how?” and held up a strangely squared off piece of wood ...if they had looked closely they might have seen a weather worn shape ...some lettering that spelled
out ‘Tagi’ ....but not being a  particularly observant bunch they missed this and it was just turfed  onto the pile.
“Easy,” said Mariel and raised her hands ...but unfortunately their was only a wet sizzle and a pop and the pile of wood that was slowly being built remained stubbornly unlit! Mariel giggled in embarrassment,
“Guess my waterproofing wore off! Um... We could try rubbing two girls scouts together ...” and she chuckled at her very old joke. Stephanie glared at her not feeling in the least amused ...she was soggy, hot and cross and
her ‘assistant noodle whip’ was out there somewhere in the high seas. She felt lost without it.... Besides she was getting hungry and a good handful of noodles would fill that empty spot.
“Nessie, don't you have glasses somewhere?” Ruth questioned. Nessie patted her pocket nervously,
“...Um only for reading ....” she replied and started to edge away. The light in Marnie’s eyes gleamed, “Well give ‘em here, kiddo..” and held out her hand authoritatively ...Marnie had regained her equilibrium...and her annoying, shrewish demeanour.
“But I need them ....” quavered Nessie.
The girls moved up to surround her...in a loose yet somehow vaguely threatening circle. Lorraine and Billie appeared behind her as Nessie craned her neck looking for an avenue of escape.
“It's’ just to light the fire...”
“You'll get them back...
“....you trust us, don't you...”
"...we're your friends..."
Nessie gulped
Suddenly there was the sound of a conch shell being blown ...the girls looked at each other ...at least the island seemed to be inhabited  ...or perhaps it was some of their missing crew members ...where were Sonja, Mary, Angela, Krichelle, Nancy, Paula, Cuqui, Theresa, Snow, Erica, Tamera, Barb, Lori, Rose and Chris, anyhow? ...The conch shell sounded again ...it seemed to be summoning them ...they all shrugged their shoulders glanced at each other ...and headed into the jungle to find out what that conch shell might portend!!

Marnie

Oh, lordy, now what??...Our mischievous S&M (Sonja and Marnie) have stranded us in the South China Sea, of all places.  Sonja, you had best guard your arm once again against mini-Marn's furtive biting attempts (latent 
cannibalistic tendencies?).  Does this mean I have to eat rats?  No way! Forget it - I will climb palm trees to find coconuts.  I will find a secret grove of papaya and passionfruit trees, too.  After weeks of near starvation, slithering snakes, mudpits (I only like to see mudpits at the Renaissance Faire, thank you very much), unshaved armpits, the odoriferous scent of unwashed bodies, cat-fights among our less-than-ladylike members, stings from sting-rays, legs and arms full of bug bites, Lauren washing her famous shorts in our drinking bowl, and enough bug-infested rice to last us a lifetime -- I am sure S&M will at last take us on a trek to a remote end of the island where we will find a branch of that friendly crab shack whose owner/chef awaited and fed us so kindly in our Rarotonga adventure!!
(Dang, that was a long sentence!  My seventh-grade English teacher must be turning in her grave right about now...)

Now, just who is going to give a version of Sue's now-immortal snake and rat speech?  I have my suspicions but far be it from me to say...*g*

Tina

Meanwhile, on the other beach ....Sonja lay back and rubbed her shoulders sensually into the fine grains of sand  that were supporting her languid form. “Now this is the way to exfoliate!” she thought as she relaxed and listened to the soothing sounds of the surf.  Raised voices roused her ...for a moment.
"Well ...we’ll need some shelter,” it was Krichelle, she didn’t sound pleased but that may have been because she’d been interrupted in her Olympian tasks and was now having yet another adventure (yawn) with the
same old bunch! She continued,
"....we should  gather some of those palm fronds and then make a bivouac on the beach...”
“We SHOULD shelter under the palm fronds that are already in place in the canopy ...we should make a shelter at the tree line,” chimed in Theresa ...being eminently sensible ...but was ignored as Krichelle got to work.
Mary had joined Sonja lounging on the beach ...she too was appreciating this sandy bit of paradise ...if only the sand fleas weren’t so keen to make a meal of her.
Angela wandered over and squatted beside the dormant pair, “Wonder where the others are ...do you think we should search for them?” she asked, she was quite fond of Marnie ...irritated no end by her but she was like a
hedgehog she’d once owned ...prickly but with a cute overbite.
Sonja opened one eye as if to say ....you seriously want me to move ...or even THINK of moving in this heat?.... but before the thought had a chance to reach her vocal centre the eye was already closing. Angela waited a
few seconds then joined them for a quick nap.
Krichelle was making great headway on the beach, darting back and forward and generally working up quite a sweat ...all the time she was being watched by an audience of enthusiastic ...if torpid, supporters in the form of
Paula, Cuqui and Snow. Erica wandered past the three, who resembled nothing less than an illustration of ‘hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil’, and heard them whispering numerals such as~‘9.35”,”9.6”, ‘10” each time Krichelle performed another Herculean task. Erica ‘tutted’ ...the three had the grace to look abashed as Cuqui explained, “Just wanted her to get that  Olympic experience as she’s stuck here with us now,” and looked at her feet in embarrassment.
Barb and Rose being new to all this wandered over to Sonja and the other prone Greylanders,
“Um ...shouldn’t we be doing something ...er ...is there anyone actually in charge here?”
Lori stifled a laugh and rolled over to let the sun at her back for a while.
Chris ...who’d perhaps been the most sensible had finally stripped off her red flannel long johns and had tied them to a palm tree as a signal flag ...and thus having completed this task took a well deserved breather and lay
down for a snooze too. The newbies glanced at each other ....and taking their cue from the others lay down for a quick forty winks.

Snoring and heavy breathing ensued........

Suddenly the stillness of the air was interrupted by the resonating sound from a conch shell. Everyone shot awake, Erica leapt to her feet and saluted. Krichelle dropped the bamboo poles she was carrying while
Sonja, heart palpitating gasped, “What the heck is that?”
Theresa who had been hollowing out a log to make a pretty convincing set of bongos, calmly announced, “Sounds like we’re being summoned ...want to go check it out?”
“Perhaps it’s the others ...perhaps it’s DINNER time!” chirped Mary.
At the thought of food all the Greylanders suddenly displayed a burst of motivation.
“Follow me”, said Sonja and watched as they all set out after Theresa into the jungle ...she just shrugged good naturedly and brought up the rear.

The air was quite dank and the floor of the forest was tightly packed with decaying vegetation lending a musty, fetid quality to each breath the Greylanders took. Added to that, all sound was somehow dampened and
swallowed by the thick greenery. There was quite an ominous, otherworldly atmosphere, insects buzzed to and fro ...their wings glistening in the occasional gleam of sunlight that lanced here and there through the thick canopy.
The Greylanders picked their way along gingerly, their feet squelching and sinking. They had started off in a light hearted mood, chattering as they went ....but each utterance now was in a hushed whisper ...or with
a nervous laugh.
There was a crashing in the bushes to the left, “Arrrglarg ...phoooey!!!”
Mary and Angela grabbed each other in fright ...Erica leapt forward to defend them ...from what could only be some monster.
“OOOOH......,ARRRRH,...ICK!!” gargled the form that finally disentangled itself from the creeping vines and burst in amongst the fearful, hysterical tribe of Greylanders. It was an awful sight,.... grey, slime covered,
hair thickly crusted and standing straight up ...arms waving ...mouth working and  spitting. It whiffled through the tulgey wood....
“Aah...yeee-uck!” it burbled as it came! Sonja gasped and fell back ...wait, was that the smell of horsehair?
“Nancy?” asked Sonja incredulously. The other girls stopped quaking ...and peered closely as, in fact, Sonja was doing.
“How did you get here ...and WHAT have you been doing with yourself, girl”
Nancy (for it WAS she) finally managed to clear the volcanic mud from her mouth and said, though with quite a distinctive snap, "Oh, I’ve had just a frabjous day!!...One minute I was headed to OZ next thing I know the
compass is spinning, Amelia Bearheart is fighting for control of the plane ...and this ...this whirling light appears in the cabin ...I can only describe it as an ...um ...Vortal!!” Nancy took a deep breath, the mud drying on
her face cracking as she fought for control. “Next thing I know I’m sucked into this... this.... Vortal and I’m sliding down a kaleidoscopic tunnel and come shooting out in mid air ...and I landed, slap, in a warm, sucking, mud volcano. At least it broke my fall.”
Angela, always aware of interesting cosmetic applications, tried to look on the bright side,
“Well, it’ll do wonders for your skin ...and it might get rid of the horsy smell.”
Nancy, with eyes of flame, glared...balefully. They all took a step back.

Luckily, at that point the conch shell sounded again. It wasn’t to be ignored and as they filled Nancy in on the happenings so far they all headed deeper into the jungle ...to see what fate awaited them.....
 

Marnie:)

 Lauren was the first to find what was to become known as the “Tribal Council” ....to her ...and the others it looked just like a clearing in the woods. Mind you, rough timbers hung with canvas were  in place above which served to give some protection from the elements ...but not from the myriad’s of night crawlers and other small, furry, biting  denizens of the jungle that were more and more making their presence known as the sun disappeared from the skies. As there were obvious benches for seating the girls  all  rested their weary legs ...it had been quite some hike, but the conch shell had been persistent so they felt they had had to continue.
“Well, what now?” queried Sam, her feet were sore ...and her stomach was growling.
“I guess we wait it out,” replied Mariel and looked around for confirmation.
Everyone pretty much agreed ...which was a first for this particular bunch.

The waiting Greylanders knew they had company coming long before they saw them. Assorted groans and whining, 'Are we there yet?'s  trumpeted their approach.
“Well,” expostulated Lisa, “...we know where Sonja is!!”.
Everyone giggled.
Theresa, as was to be expected, was the first to break from the jungle into the clearing ...and spotting similar benches to the ones already occupied ensconced herself there. Her cohorts arranged themselves likewise. They
were all pleased to see their friends ...but were just a bit too tired to leap up and embrace each other warmly. Only Mary chimed in with,
“Hi gang, great to see you ...don’t suppose you have a chocolate bar on you ...hmmm?...anyone?”
No-one took her seriously and the Greylanders chattered desultorily with each ...other catching up.
"What about that message from the Hi-G ...do you think he's blown a gasket or something?" gossiped Marnie.
"Enough of that talk!!" Sandy said and swatted her, she smiled  in a cajoling manner as she did so ...but it was best to nip these rumours in the bud. Sandy was right ...loose lips sink ships ...and just look what had happened
to the WTS!
 

Night had fallen  leaving the Greylanders sitting in total darkness, they were becoming restless, when out of the corner of her eye  Jami noticed a flicker of light.
“What’s that?” she drew everyone’s attention and before they could all react a figure, holding a torch , entered the clearing.
“Good evening and welcome ladies” said the petite Evan Adams, "I’ll be your host for the evening.”
For once the Greylanders were struck dumb! Marnie ducked her head self consciously wishing she’d never sent him all those suggestive e-mails now.
Evan adroitly used this unusual silence to disclose why he was there ...and indeed why ALL the Greylanders found themselves in this place!
“Well, Ladies ...this is indeed a test ...a test to see who is the best ...the ultimate ...THE Greylander. In the days ahead you will face many challenges, some of you may wish to opt out when you hear what they are ...but
there is a prize ....an evening at Mooseheart Manor ...as the personal guest of the Hi-Greylander ...and oh, a complete boxed video set of all The Hi-Greylanders Movie and TV appearances.”
There was a concerted gasp. Lori, who had just been about to declare she had no intention in joining in this  “test” snapped her mouth shut and swallowed her words ...she’d LOVE to get her hands on the entire MG Collection.
“So Ladies,” continued Evan once the hubbub had died down, "Do we have anyone who’d like to leave now? We have a motor launch waiting and we can whisk you away?”
The thought of an evening with the Hi-Greylander was just too much to contemplate ...and just too enticing to pass up. No matter what the cost ...they were all determined to win! They glanced at each other ...but now,
instead of  friendly gazes they seemed to be sizing each other up.
“Very well, ” Evan continued as no-one seemed inclined to take him up on the offer, “Here are the rules. You will be split into two teams ...as you’ve already naturally divided into two groups these will stand
Marnie, Lauren, Sam Mariel, Ruth, Daija, Rachel, Nessie, Tina, Lin, Lisa, Sandy, Jami, Stephanie and Billie ....You’ll be the ‘A’ team on Tagi Beach.”
“Ooh, the ‘A’ Team,”  Nessie quipped .., “can I  be Mr T?” she was quickly hushed by the others ...but not before the thought of weighing her down with a few gold chains and turfing her in the nearest lagoon as a means of reducing the odds had passed through Marnie’s mind. It was quickly dismissed,
“Naw, Mum would never forgive me!”
Evan carried on “.... The ‘B’ team at Pagong will be made up of  Sonja, Mary, Angela, Krichelle, Nancy, Paula, Cuqui, Theresa, Snow, Erica, Tamera, Barb, Chris , Lori, Chris and Rose. You’ll be situated at Pagong, it’s a nice
wide beach  with plenty of room and lush cover.”
Turning to the “A” Team , “Now while Tagi is a narrower beach than Pagong it does have the advantage of a reef ...which is the home of an abundance of sea life. This may just come in handy as, for the duration,  you are limited in what you eat ....to what you can catch!! We will provide a basic staple for you, something you can have as much of as you want,” and so saying he pulled back a tarpaulin to reveal ....mounds and mounds of Sonja’s Fry Bread!! There were wails of horror and cries of, “ NO, NO ...anything but that.” Everyone glared at Sonja, she
held up her hands helplessly, “Don’t look at me ...it must have been left over from the Voting war”
“More like it multiplies like a virus when we aren’t looking!!” grumbled Mary
Evan carried on, “Your water supply is an hours march into the jungle ...here is a map for both teams. Each day you’ll have to hike in and collect fresh water. Every third day  we will hold games to determine ....which team
must lose a member and which team will win a luxury item. For example the team that makes it through the obstacle course first will win a rack of lamb for dinner ...and they’ll be allowed to watch the MG episode of Table for Two", (on the specially set up large screen television with accompanying VCR).
The Greylanders looked happier ...this might not be so bad!
“However, the team that loses will have to make the 2 hour march back from their home beach to here ..."The Tribal Council” and decide who is the weakest link in the team ...and vote them off the island!!  All decisions are
final ...and you must walk the gangplank." Evan pointed ominously to a narrow bridge leading off in the darkness, "Never to be seen again!”
Then turning to another canvas covered mound he revealed a cache of supplies. Little more than flotsam from the downed WTS... A few worn cooking pots, bits of string, hammer, blunted knives ...nothing really substantial just enough to make life a little easier.  Nancy,  mud  flaking from her in patches, grabbed the only roll of duct tape! She knew you could make ANYTHING with duct tape!
There was also a pile of soggy kilts ....but once dried out they would make fine blankets. No one gave a second thought to the previous owners, the crew of the WTS.....and the manner in which they must now be dressed, well,
after all, they were just figments of the imagination.
Evan pointed to the supplies, “These will be divided evenly and with them you must make shelters for yourselves and a rudimentary camp  ...but also each of you is allowed to choose one luxury to take with you. When you’ve
decided, it will be delivered to you ...be aware that it cannot be the Hi-Greylander.”
Thus, he dashed many raised hopes!
“Ooh, I’ll take my Sega Game Boy .....” immediately declared  Marnie.
As everyone had expected her to take at least a sketch pad or paints they were ll quite surprised...would she never grow up?
“Well,” she explained  “...as Red Green would say ...If I can’t stay young forever I can at least stay immature!!”

“As it’s dark you may stay here for the evening, " continued Evan, "...and watch a rerun of “Star Trek the Voyage Home”, but tomorrow you must return to your allocated beach, set up camp and prepare for the contest. So, to the Victor the spoils.....and remember  There can Be Only One!!” and with this Evan took his torch and disappeared into the darkness. The Greylanders settled in for the night, each gnawing the everlasting Fry Bread and each wondering where they had heard that phrase before, what the new day would bring and curious about the luxury item that each one would request.

Marnie

Each of the gals sat mulling over which luxury item they would take .
Then Sonja, eyeing Krichelle suspiciously came up with ....

"Marnie's novel "The Captain's Captive" of course!!!! LOL!!!      Or should I go for a home dentist kit......after a few bites of my Fry bread I'll need bridgework! Or maybe all I need is my Hi-Greylander poster! 'Ang on......I'm NOTHING without my hairdryer....on dang!!! I can't decide!!!!!"

Then Tina chimed in,
"I'll  bring along my favorite, luxurious lavender soap and body lotion - it has the side-effect of also warding off mosquitoes and other no-see-ums and unwanted critters.  At least I will "stink purty" as they say back home, and have silky-soft skin, while the rest of you damsels are scented of "eau de mud-&-crud" and "eau de jungle-rot".  Can I also bring a supply of L'Oreal to keep my (new hair extension) Scarlett O'Hara ringlets a nice shade of "lightest ash blonde"?
In addition, please, please can I bring along Sven, my trusted, faithful Viking chef/masseur/personal trainer?   (I should live so long...)"

She was quelled by a glance from Sandy as Rose put in as an aside.......
"All right B-team, even though Sonja's fry bread is being used to break our spirits, we can always sew the pieces together to make shelter!  The A-team  will be off the island in a week!" 

To which Sonja replied,
"I'm glad you're on MY team Rose!!!", she laughed, " What are we gonna sew 'em together with though!! Trust me, you won't get no needle through them frybreads! I say we mix a mortar out of all this mud and jungle goo, and use 'em as bricks! Wait a minute....what is this 'we' I'm throwing around so freely??? YOU gals get building........I'm heading for the beach!!"
and so saying  seated herself down on the beach with 'The Captain's Captive', and settled down to reading till the game was over!

Mariel  was still giving thought to what her luxury item would be but then she realized....
 "I can transform,  transpose and transmogrify myself out of there-- or--just click those ruby red slippers and whisper, "I wish I were in Greyland...I wish I  were in Greyland..."

But alas it wasn't to be.
"There must be some sort of dampening field.", Marnie sympathized with her ...."You couldn't use her powers to light the fire ...my Super Marnie suit is ruined by sea salt, the ruby slippers have turned into a pair of fluffy
bunny slippers ...and all transmogrification is frozen. (Thus Tina is stuck with her hair extensions for the duration!..and no hair curler...shriek!)Gulp, we're going to have to rely on our mundane selves
...and our wits!!" As an afterthought she added,
"  Thank goodness you brought a razor Daija, normally in Greyland such things don't bother us, but being stuck here things could have turned pretty hairy ....fast!:)

But Jami had the last word on luxury items....
"I would have to have pictures of my kids!  Anything else I might need I can  make myself..... I wouldn't forget what they look like...especially when the oldest looks like me.  The pictures would be a reminder that things could be so much worse....!!!  Like....'Moooommmm he's touching me' I'm looking forward to the time  off)."
 

The others decided to mull things over for a while longer and so headed to the beach 
...just to relax....... for a while......
 
 

The despondent Greylanders stood or sat on the beach edge, watching the elegant yacht disappear into the hazy distance. No one said a word..their hopes of rescue faded on the horizon along with the vessel, which carried
supplies, luxuries, and any last connection with the outside world. It also carried their erstwhile 'host', Evan Adams. When 36 days had dragged on to 40, then 45, then 50, and he had done all he could to encourage,
mediate, and help the group of ornery women through this 'game', he finally threw his hands up in the air, then symbolically washed them in the sea, and declared he would be better off trying to teach kindergarten in an inner-city suburb (or hosting a  talk show on APTN).
"But....but....WHO gets to have dinner with the Hi-Greylander?" (for that was the prize) shouted Val to Evan's fast receding back.
Evan paused, turned around slowly, looked pointedly at the group he was leaving behind, and grinned widely for the first time in two months!!
He then loaded the equipment and crew onto the 'Survivor' yacht, and headed off into the sunset, leaving the confused Greylanders wondering what they had done wrong.

Several minutes passed before anyone moved, or spoke.
"You know, it's all Tagi's fault!" Exclaimed Lauren. Can't you guys just ACCEPT a decision!!
"Excuse ME!" Sonja's voice was high pitched and shrill. "YOU guys just don't know how to HAVE A GOOD TIME!!
"Will you two just cool it!" Angela broke in. "Now this is exactly why we could never get 'with the program' here."
"Well, if the gals from Florida had stopped requesting recount after re-count at every tribal vote....," Marnie butted in.
"...and if YOU could only have written the names clearly and stopped spoiling the ballots!!!" Mary glared back at her.
Sonja took note of this ...was it Marnie who had written 'Souna' that first night? The little twit obviously couldn't spell either!
"Well who had the bright idea to make the ballots out of actual butterflies?!!! Don't you know the Atlas Moth is an endangered species?" opined Naiu belligerently.
"Why can't we just follow instructions, do as we are told, abide by the rules..?" Angela's question was left hanging in the air as most of the Greylanders stared up at her in bewilderment from various positions
splayed out on the beach. Since WHEN have Greylanders ever done as they were told? Part of the freedom of being a Greylander is the pursuit of anything whacky and non-conformist, a Greylander by definition does not accept the limitations of time and space, the rules and regulations of 'real world' living do not apply. Of COURSE no-one would accept the outcome of these 'immunity trials', of 'reward challenges', of 'tribal council votes'!
In short. Greylanders could rarely agree upon ANYTHING!
Marnie chuckled to herself as she remembered the day they had so exasperated Evan at a Tribal Council meeting, that he had grabbed a knife and cut his hair off in a fit of rage. Of course the publicity 'spin' was
that he wanted to get more 'mainstream' acting roles, but the Greylanders knew the TRUTH!

"So..um..what do we do now?" Enquired Chris. She was starting to feel a little concerned. After all, the boat had gone, and they weren't ON it!
"Your guess is as good as mine." Said Mariel, as she stretched out languidly in the sand, not a care in the world.
Mary suddenly sat up and looked at Mariel. "Hey! Mariel! Haven't you got some or other spell up your sleeve that could spirit us off the island?"
"Hm?" Inquired Mariel, showing very little interested at all.
"Uh..nope.spell book at home." She hadn't even opened her eyes.
"Well, ah, can't SuperMarnie simply zoom us outta here?" Chris tried again.
Marnie, who was fluidly swinging in a hammock just a few paces up the beach, opened one eye. "Nope, no secret 'source' patties I'm afraid."

Jami, upon hearing the word 'Patties' burst into tears. "I want to get back to my Meatloaf Palace!!" She sobbed.
"Now, now Jami." Lin tried to comfort her. "Hey, why don't we all head on over to the mud volcano! We ALWAYS feel a little better after a mud-bath, huh?"
Nessie sat up, suddenly alert. She loved the mud volcano, and her scales WERE feeling somewhat 'dried out'. A mud treatment would be just the ticket!
Ruth, Rose, and Mary shook themselves out of their soporific lull, stood up, and just headed off into the woods, towards the mud volcano.
"Well, seems like the decision is made." Said Sam, as she trudged off after them.

One by one the group of castaways made their way to the mud volcano. Some more reluctantly than others. Chris was really struggling with the heat.
After 54 days on a tropical island she would almost sell her soul to be back in Alaska, feeling her nose hairs freeze in her nostrils....Ah the thrill!
Snow and Tamera still didn't quite 'get' the mud volcano bit, and were none too thrilled to experience mud oozing between their toes, but well, everyone else was doing it and they hated to be left out. They were both careful
not to get the mud in their hair though.
Krichelle had none of their finicky-ness and was usually the first to plunge head first into the volcano as mud plopped up onto terra firma. She and Sonja then competed to see who could load the most mud inside their
bikinis..as Sonja's bikini was a little 'bigger', she usually won.  The blond midgit (which is what the group started to call the diminutive Marnie), and the not much bigger Tina were soon arguing over prime mud 'real estate'. The argument declined into an all out wrestling match, in which Tina seemed to have the upper hand, only because Marnie's long blond and mud filled hair formed a sort of mud hut around her head, blocking her vision.
"Yep!" Shouted Lauren. "GUARANTEED to make one feel better!" And she took another running jump and plopped into the centre of the volcano, sending mud splattering dangerously close to Snow's head.

Rolling in mud, massaging mud into each others legs and backs, feeling the soothing  healing qualities, the Greylanders felt rejuvenated and ready to face their dilemma head on. Marnie's 'mud hut' hair-do was threatening to bake solid, and Sonja and Tina's short locks stood up in spikes all around their heads..they looked like porcupines. Paula and Lisa found it extremely amusing.
"Right!" Yelled Angela. "Everybody down to the beach. We have some serious thinking to do!"
Erica was still in a playful mood. "Last one into the water is a..Frankie Avina fan!!"
That did it. The mud sculptures all yelled at the tops of their lungs and crashed headlong down the path back to the sea.

Erica, who had been in training before the 'crashing on the island' thing, was of course first to burst out of the woods and onto the beach. She stopped dead in her tracks. Krichelle who was a close second crashed right
into her, tumbling her down to the sand. Next came Jami, then Snow, then the rest of the team, all smashing into a heap and rolling down to the water's edge.  Sand mixed with mud, giving an interesting texture to the already chiselled clay bodies of the Greylanders. Gradually they all looked up from where they had landed..and froze as they saw what Erica had seen...

....A short distance out in the surf, rising wet and shining from the sea, the Hi-Greylander himself, dressed in (no, not a speedo unfortunately....calm yourselves, girls) a pair of tastefully baggy swim-trunks, walked out of the
ebb as it slid down the sandy beach.
The Greylanders were dumbstruck as well as immobilized.  The Hi-Greylander stood (looking glorious of course) and took in the scene before him. Hands on hips he clucked his tongue and shook his head.
"Whatever am I to do with you lot!" He exclaimed.
The Greylanders were, of course, in a state of shock, trying to still beating hearts while making sure they did not faint, and no one moved. They looked like a garden of Romanesque statues in varying stages of decay.
"Well c'mon!" Said the Hi-Greylander as he gestured with his arm. "Do you want me to leave you here? If you don't move soon you'll all dry solid, and all you'll be good for is decoration in the garden at Mooseheart
Manor!"

Slowly the shamefaced Greylanders shuffled into the surf and washed themselves off, wondering how they managed to always be at their WORST when the Hi-Greylander popped into the picture!
Daija plucked up some courage, and when she had washed off most of her mud, she approached the Hi-Greylander.
"Umm..excuse me asking..but.umm...how exactly do you plan to get us all out of here?"
The Hi-Greylander didn't need to answer, for suddenly swooping in from the woods, flying low and gracefully, arrived a new and refurbished Wee Tartan Space ship. It landed on the beach, the door opened, the bare-chested,
kilted crewmen marched down the gangplank, handed out towels and ushered the relieved group aboard.

"Well...never a dull moment, eh?" Said Jami, as everybody sat warm and toasty in Jami's Meatloaf Palace.
Chris groaned as she looked out the window at 10 feet of snow piled up against the doorway. 
"I'd give anything to be back on that island right now." She sighed.

"Oh go on!!" Laughed Angela. "YOU were the one who complained the most about the heat!"
"Who's talking about the temperature! I-I-I just want to see the Hi-Greylander rising out of the sea again!"
Everyone laughed, and Marnie grinned and said "That COULD be arranged!!"............