A few short stories that appeared in
Chapel bulletins over the past few years.

For your amusement, the following story contains all sixty-six of the books of the Bible.  Can you find them?  (Hints: Numbers are spelled out, i.e.

After firing the deuteron, "O, my, I lament at ions," John cried.  Having been numb erstwhile, first John thought mica had settled on his desk and shouted to Alex, "O dust it off!"  Jo eletronically checked for the cause, recalling the first chronic lesion that resulted in an e-z rain.  But according to Jo "Nah."  John yelled to his secretary, "Looking throught the haze, Char, I ahead see a great crowd coming."  Drawn by the phenomenon in the sky, people who revel at ions began to appear: first, Corinthians; second, Thessalonians; third, Judeans, crying in there Hebrew tongue, "Ze phan iah!"  The remarks were as varied as the onlookers.  First Thessalonians estimated salvage value to be zero.  "Man's creations are man's undoing," they muttered.  Second, Corinthians, being philosophers, opined, "According to the oracles of Delphi, 'lemon' is the word to describe this cyclotron."  The first kings, arriving from Rome, cried in their native Latin, "Eccle sia stes!"  The barbaric second kings grunted, "Ha! bak kuk!"  In the words of Jeremi, "A hemispherical calamity has befallen us."  "Yes, and it's politico-loss," I answered in agreement.  Arriving in a long black sedan (i.e. a limousine) to investigate the facts firsthand, Zek started to judge some of the staff, asking me about each one.  "Who's the man asleep?"  "He's Ian; surely he didn't do it."  "What about that gal at Ian's side with the serpentine hem?"  "I, ahem, no she brews the coffee.  Eugene's is the next work station, but he slips alms to anyone in the arena, humming a singsong of solo monotonically."  "Should we suspect the man who's third?"  "John? Well, he is a ... I ... ah, yes, there is a possibility, since he was in charge."  After a second, John spoke truthfully, "I admit it usually couldn't happen, but flu kept me from thinking clearly.  Lookhere Zek.  I eliminated a hose at a most critical connection.  Matt hewed it for me, causing a second chronic lesion in the cyclotron.  I was in a jam, especially after Joshua first petered out."  Regarding the admitted firsts, Amuel said, "Lev' it.  I customarily would."  But after reflecting a few seconds, Amuel said, "It is too bad.  I ah, have an animal - a Chicago shag gainfully employed.  But the second pet erred."  A Greek named Phillip Pi answered, "This is no task for an animal; let me recommend a pro.  Verbs fail to describe first, Timothy's abilities, and second Timothy's character.  He's just the man for this job."